Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Listen to My Heart


I have recently spent several days with a group of friends intent on exploring what it might mean to be more aware in daily life. Especially in the middle of activities that are strongly outcome-oriented and therefore tend to focus (limit?) awareness to a relatively narrow set of concerns.

As is inevitable when such a group is together, there has been considerable discussion of “heart” and “head”. It has been suggested that people might be naturally “heart-oriented” and “head-oriented”. What that might actually mean is a fascinating exploration but I do not want to get into that today. Instead, I want to talk about a small slice of that conversation.

Several times during our conversations, especially when there was a bit of an edge to it, or when we appeared to be unsure of what the key issues were, someone would stand up and say: “listen to your heart”. As I watched this being repeated several times, by different people and at different times, something struck me quite forcefully: while the words were “listen to your heart”, what was being actually said was “listen to my heart”.

This is such a liberator.

You see, I have often felt that someone saying “listen to your heart” to me is a bit of a conversation-stopper. What do you think I have been listening to, I feel like saying, if not my heart? Moreover, if I listen to my heart, and you listen to yours, and they seem to be saying different things (as they always seem to when such an exhortation is made), what is the next step in our interaction? The assumption usually seems to be that talking about it with words is a “head” thing and will not lead to common ground. But listening to my heart seems to be locking us right there, too. Perhaps even more so, because now I am supposed to search inside myself, a lonely island, until I find light. And, quietly unstated but firmly meant, is this: listen until you see the light that I am seeing.

Well, why don’t we say exactly that?

Listen to my heart. Please.

How much changes, immediately!

When I say “listen to my heart’, I invite you to share my deepest intuitions, hopes and fears.

I build a community out of the two of us. I allow you into myself and, in doing that, extend a bridge of trust to you.

When you listen to my heart, what can you do it with but your heart? And how can you do it if you are not listening to yours?

And as my heart moves, so does yours with it, an on-going communion.

As you listen to my heart, you listen to yours. If you listen to yours, you may or may not be listening to mine.

Listen to my heart.

11 comments:

  1. Listen to my heart - it says it loves what u wrote :) Regards

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  2. Dear Chittaranjan, what a profoundly simple insight ... and one which rings so true!

    It strikes me that we have much more to learn from the trobadours, balladeers, song-writers, poets (and lovers) from time immemorial who have unabashedly been saying "Listen to my heart" in myriad ways ... perhaps we haven't really been listening to their call.

    Thanks for allowing this beautiful thought to blossom ... I pray this blog-post will be the first of many!

    Hugs, Vijay

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  3. Wow!

    Chit.. you always baffle me with your loving simplicity, with your heart which when revealed, enables me to touch mine.

    Silently you talk
    Musically you walk
    There is something
    Quite ordinary
    That enables my heart
    to encounter
    the extra-ordinary

    Much affection..
    K

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  4. Hi Chittaranjan, Nice blog. Hope you post more often :)

    Deep down don't all Heart's beat with the same knowing. Whether its 'yours' or 'mine'.

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  5. Mmm...

    At the same time, isn't 'I' too central in this?
    Kind of my intuitions, my hopes, my fears.
    I, me, myself?
    When we say: Listen to my heart, I mean?

    Perhaps we need to take it - heartfully - to the next level
    When we can say, truly and in all humility - not 'listen to my heart'
    but YOU are central, not me. i am effaced. though I am actively listening.
    'I am listening to your heart'

    I am listening to your heart :-)

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  6. Piyul. I was only pointing out that when we say, to someone else, that he should look into his heart, we often really want him to look into ours. This is an important realisation because when we see it, it makes us a willing receiver of grace and opens us to a deeper communion. It is a step to what you hope for, where we can say, "I am listening to your heart".

    Naveen. That is something we have to discover, don't we? And beginning with becoming vulnerable by acknowledging our need is a good step, don't you think?

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  7. Hi Chit, this is Nilima..

    We seem to look down on the 'mind' as false and the 'heart' as true.

    Your post reminds me that there are two kinds of hearts..the outer heart which is as placed in Duality as our mind, and sees 'my' heart versus 'your' heart. And like the mind, this heart too perhaps is looking to be lovingly healed and brought to wholeness.

    There is then the inner heart. The place within us which is non-dual. From where there is no 'mine' and 'yours', or indeed 'mind' and 'heart' conflicting duality.

    Seems to me then, in a conversation between two people, if either one can move into this inner heart, then their two outer hearts and minds suddenly find a space and ground where their energies can get harmonised for something all-together new to emerge..

    Thank you for this Chit.

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  8. hi!
    great write up! :)
    a ccp from the mail -
    i had a thought, more of a query i guess. there is an interesting conclusion that you reach by the end - And as my heart moves, so does yours with it, an on-going communion.

    i think i lost track in between - given that i din reach this conclusion as logically & comfortably as you did.

    so, my wonder is - as you, when i'd keep a check on what going on inside me while listening to you, and you'd be doing the same thing then how does the problem of 'what is the next step in our interaction' solved?
    Eg. am are all angry, you hearing me out - and busy tryign to empathize, definately while doing that, you're looking into yourself & keeping a track of your emotion. but does that mean necessarily that we'd reach a consensus on 'in what light to view the issue taht has made me angry, for instance?'

    no hurwhenever u get time..!

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  9. Shreya. We might be using some words and phrases to mean different things.

    When I "look into your heart", I am not really busy empathising. Nor am I trying to keep track of my emotion. I want to simply look, just to find out what is going on there. What is the emotion in your heart, and what is underneath that, what are you really saying to me.

    And when I say "communion", I don't mean consensus". I only mean that my heart responds to what it sees in yours. It may disagree with the content of your opinion but, in some sense, it understands where you stand.

    If you put yourself into this position, you will see that this may well lead to a consensus developing, as the fog of misunderstanding around our positions is cleared and the positions can be seen purely for what they are.

    But even if we cannot find consensus, as is also possible, the hearts have still moved together, as they understood their difference. If you do put yourself into this position, you will discover that it makes for a different flavour of the relationship.

    It is great fun to discover it.

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  10. Thank you...you have just solved the greatest "mystery" of my deepest, sacred, intimate relationships...
    I am listening. :)
    Love

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